Beating Heart

Eyes make their peace in difficulties
With wounded lips and salted cheeks
And finally we step to leave
To the departure lounge of disbelief

And I don’t know where I’m going
But I know it’s gonna be a long time
And I’ll be leaving in the morning
Come the white wine bitter sunlight

Wanna hear your beating heart tonight
Before the bleeding sun comes alive
I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight
And hear my beating heart one last time
Before daylight

In the canyon underneath the trees
Behind the dark sky, you looked at me
I fell for you like autumn leaves 
Never faded, evergreen

And I don’t know where I’m going
But I know it’s gonna be a long time
'Cause I'll be leaving in the morning
Come the white wine bitter sunlight

Wanna hear your beating heart tonight
Before the bleeding sun comes alive
I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight
And hear my beating heart one last time

I can’t face this now everything has changed
I just wanna be by your side, here’s hoping we collide
Here’s hoping we collide
Here’s hoping we collide

Wanna hear your beating heart tonight
Before the bleeding sun comes alive
I want to make the best of what is left, hold tight
And hear my beating heart one last time
Wanna hear your beating heart tonight
I was dying to
hear
someone say
That I didn’t need
to try so hard to be perfect,
That I was enough
and
it was okay.
and i wish i could just say it,
right now. right now.
that for tonight it’s about
falling so fucking in love,
the sunlight won’t taste
the same when i wake.

aed (via iamunheardd)

I’m waiting for something.

I’ve woken up too many times worked up, exhaling, thinking and plotting us two and maybes. Maybe I want you. Maybe I miss you. Maybe I want to close the gap.

Beto (via perfectionisodd)

I’m between tangled strings and unseen lines whenever fragments of the boy who never told me he loves me seem to overlap like vines intermingling with voices as the memory forms inside my head. It dusts every neuron at night, and plant vague colors at each hemisphere of my brain everyday, that I’m so used of waking up unsure and frazzled, carrying a gloom inside my ribcage that swirls like a whirlpool ready to drown me anytime, while around me feels like a huge thick fog; too eager to cover me in.

I’m between “I think I like him” and “I’m entirely sure I’m not” everytime I pluck selective strings made of my memories about his almost dark brown eyes. It’s the same in-between thought of whether to decide of what are the right choice of words to say, when two choices of sure and unknown statements pops into my brain.

I also hope of fixing broken things, at the same time letting them stay the same. Scattered. Unfixed. And distant from one another. Waking up and sleeping with it for this past week, weighs me down with the normalcy that lies inside my ribcage, whispering sighs that takes me somewhere, where black and white, dark and light agreed to be the burden that bothers me out of my existence.

Because I’m tied up and set free that I can’t make out any rational choice of what is the thing I really need, or what I want, and what I really don’t.

i’m so confused 

You’re so beautiful with your paper skin, and baby it’s going to happen soon, me loving you wholeheartedly. Maybe it would happen in two years time, maybe eight months from now we’ll meet again in an art exhibit of a local artist and we’d be staring at the same painting and you’ll say my name and the tingles on the nape of my neck will be appearing once again and I’ll be coming back home again. Please don’t ask me why I’m like this. Please don’t, because this revolution happening inside of my body isn’t my call, this rebellion against withering white roses hidden in novels, the verglas between heaven and hell, the blank pages of the hundred notebooks I’ve stacked upon are not waiting to be written of love poems for somebody else. They are for you. You’ve showed me the essence of how a human touch can heal, but the timing isn’t right. Not now. Not when my mind is dangerous.

a.s., how to tell someone you love them but you’re not ready  (via mossyribs)

the way you look at her could move the stars and clash night and day together. it’s the kind of stare any girl would wish to last longer, the kind they’d wish to happen more often. it’s basically the look that turns your eyes into towering skyscrapers and makes your lips hang loosely tilted along the sides. your eyes become brighter than the city that never sleeps, and your breath becomes the cigarette smoke fusing in the middle of subway stations, and though i hate the fact that little sticks could make my father’s lungs turn black, i don’t mind when i find ash stuck to the corner of your lip.

and my god, you look at her the way anyone would look at someone they’d put first over everything. her chocolate strands and easy smile, her curves that fill your palm and her scent you’d associate with things, saying “she smells of strawberries” instead of “she smells divine”. you won’t ever admit that you love her, but the way you make sure you play her favorite songs whenever she’s in the car with you, or when you find time to piece little puzzles inside of her chest to make her smile say more than three words could ever do.

she’s your princess. the face you see when they say “andromeda”. and every brilliant epiphany won’t stand a chance if you’re asked to describe just how she makes you feel. all this i can see in a single stare. all this i can sense in the contours of your faces i’ve learned to paint in detail on the back of my hand. and i won’t tell you how much of it hurts me. i won’t tell you how bad it is to see you and how much of it is actually tantamount to getting my heart ripped out of my goddamned chest. but man, i’m so for you. for. you.

you just don’t know it yet.

you move buildings with your stare and crash hurricanes across my heart // aed (via iamunheardd)